I am wherever you are

Anant Swami, as one of Baba’s closest disciples, spent a lot of time with Baba. Once, the two of them, alone, stayed in Alandi. 

In Alandi, they were staying in the veranda of the Narasimha Saraswati temple. During this stay, Baba was frequently in supreme spiritual states. And, Anant Swami’s sole purpose was serving him. 

Anant Swami said that he would be so overcome with the love that he would receive from Baba, and there is no way to capture it in words. Even something as simple as the love with which Baba looked at him, let him experience utter bliss. So Anant Swami felt like he had no life without Baba. 

Anant Swami used to say that in the moments Baba regained awareness of having a physical form, he would have mannerisms and be saying things that seemed confusing and at times disconnected. 

Sometimes, Baba would even say to Anant Swami, “Why are you following me around like this? If I say something, you just blindly follow. Do you have any existence of your own? Go away.” 

Anant Swami used to say that he would ignore it when Baba would tell him to leave. All he knew was that he wanted to be around Baba! That’s all he wanted. 

One rainy night, the Indrayani river was very choppy. It was the middle of the night, there was a downpour, and suddenly Baba said to Anant Swami, “Get up. Leave from here. Get walking. Why are you constantly following me around? You are bothering me too. Leave from here.”

Anant Swami replied to him, “Baba, no matter what happens, I will not leave you.”

Two or three minutes later, Baba got up and said, “Let’s see how you stay with me now. I am running away.”

With that, Baba started to run towards the Indrayani. Anant Swami also started running behind Baba. 

In the middle of the night, in the pouring rain, on the rough and uneven ground, Baba was sprinting towards the river. Anant Swami, running right behind Baba, was afraid that Baba was going away from him, so he sped up even more. 

Standing on the riverbank, Baba said to Anant Swami, “I’m telling you again, leave me and go. Or else, I will jump into the river.”

Anant Swami replied, “Wherever you go, I will follow.”

As soon as he heard this, Baba jumped straight into the stormy river. Anant Swami, without a thought, jumped in right after Baba. He remembers swimming after Baba until they were in the middle of the river, but Anant Swami had no recollection of what happened after that. Eventually, he opened his eyes and in that moment, found himself sitting in his Sadguru, Baba’s lap and Baba was lovingly running his hands over Anant Swami’s head and face. 

Later, Baba himself served and fed Anant Swami. 

In Divyamritdhara, Baba explains that the guru putra who has completely submerged themselves in the love of their guru, no longer wants to see or experience anything but that love. Their sense of self is so connected to their love for their guru, that they have no thought and awareness of doing, seeing, accomplishing anything. Love and devotion for guru necessarily follows and stems from guru krupa (grace from guru). No act (karma) which is not filled with love for guru allows a person to truly serve. In love, we overcome the importance we give to ourselves (swatmavismruti), and then we only remember the divine love (premasmruti). It is after this that, the focus, journey and life is all lived within that love. This is the only way to truly serve, to do true seva.